Bully Proof

What if you can teach someone not to feel victim of circumstance?

Victim of circumstance is a big one. There are hundreds of circumstances we are all part of just by virtue of the fact we are born. Some of the circumstances are nice and others are perceived as not. Many people experience horrific circumstances and find themselves in challenging circumstances. How is it possible not to fall prey to your circumstances?

There is one single question one can ask themselves which touches to the root of emotional resilience. Once this question is clarified for a person he/she will start to feel less weathered by what’s going on outside of themselves.

The question is: What is the cause of my feelings? Is it the outside in or inside out? Is it Thought in the moment or is it something other than Thought? Please allow me to explain, our feelings and our thoughts are one and the same. Just like you can’t drive car without gas, you can’t have a feeling without a thought behind it. Thoughts are the gasoline to all feelings. The second you stop thinking into something is the moment the feeling dies and no longer exists.

When we attribute our feelings to outside circumstance the more we are subject to that circumstance. To the degree we attribute our feelings to Thought in the moment is the degree we feel freer from circumstance. This is what’s often referred to as ‘the inside-out nature of life.”

Thought is a principle, I use the word principle in a judicial sense. The definition of a principle is “a fundamental truth or proposition that serves as a foundation for a system or chain events.” There is a fundamental truth about the way mankind’s psychological lives work. Thought creates our feelings. We are living in the feeling of our thinking from moment to moment.

I was once doing a workshop in a 6th grade boys class about bullying. When I got into the class I questioned them on how they were taught to deal with bullying. They unanimously shouted out they were taught to ignore the bully, which is also known as active ignoring. I asked them if that worked for them. To which the class also shouted out “No, our feelings are still hurt!”

I went on to explain to the class using various pictures I drew on the board that all feelings come from thoughts. And to the degree you can see your feeling your thinking and not the bully, is the degree that you won’t need to pretend you’re not feeling hurt when you really are. In other words, the more a person can see the thought feeling connection the less that person will feel victim of circumstance.

Ide like add im not suggesting it’s okay for someone to mistreat you or be mean to you. But what I am suggesting is when you start ascribing feelings to your thoughts than you stop feeling victim of circumstance and you can deal with the situation however you see fit. To my surprise while I was teaching the 6th grade class one of the boys called out “that’s called bully proof!” The boy went onto explain just like when a person is bullet proof they don’t become harmed by bullets so too when a person can see his/her thinking is true cause of their feelings they don’t feel affected by the bully!

Out entire experience of life in generated through the “inside-out”. We all understand our sense of touch, taste, smell, hearing and seeing are all internal experience. It should come as little surprise to suggest that are mental, emotional and spiritual one is as well. No one goes into your mind and places a specific thought in it.  This is true for me, you and all 8 million people on earth.

The implications of understanding that we are living in the feeling of our thinking is huge. And cannot be overstated. Although this sounds funny to say all a feeling is a thought! I ask you, what is a thought? Can you touch it? Can you take it out of your mind? How does it get there to begin with? Thoughts are spiritual in nature and have an ethereal, ephemeral quality to them. It is not just a matter of electronic impulses.  Is the words of Mr. Sydney Banks “Your thoughts are like an artist’s brush ,they create a personal picture of the reality you live in.”

1 Comment

  • Shira Posted November 20, 2017 4:03 pm

    wow what a brilliant insight you led that student to! I love the analogy he gave for being “bully proof.” This insight can really help students get back their power.

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