Why talking about your problems doesn’t always help

One of the major ideas that lie behind all forms of the talk therapy is that talking about your problems will help you come to greater self-awareness. The more one speaks they will be able to externalize his/her problem becoming more aware of the issue. The more aware the issue one is, the more they will be able to deal with it.

Grain of truth: By becoming more aware of how your issue has started and originated in your thinking you will feel better.

Self-awareness is often a double-edged sword. Sure, a person should become self-aware of their surrounding and how they present. No one appreciates a person who “hogs” the conversation. However, Is there such a thing as too much self-awareness? Often the more self-aware a person becomes the more keenly they can become of their pain and how “messed up” or complicated his/her situation they are or their situation is.

Often too much self-awareness leaves a person feeling overly sensitive or insecure about his/her position in life. When a person thinks insecure, they feel insecure which in return causes them to act insecure.

The more a person talks about their problem they often wind up feeling worse about the problem making the issue seem insurmountable. It has become even common for many to leave their therapist sessions feeling worse than when they started. Obviously, this is all done innocently with the intent to heal a person by allowing them to feel better.

However, when a person is able to take a step back and see something fundamental about how the human experience is created they start to gain insight and perspective into the current situation. Instead of asking “why am I like this?” a person should ask themselves “Is my problem common to humans?” the answer to that question is always unequivocally, Yes!  Out of all 8 billion people on earth you will find many that struggle with the same issue that you do. Which means you are normal.

I often tell my clients “you have the same problem as me. It’s called the human condition.” When a person starts seeing their struggles as part of the human condition they start feel a sense of relief. Instead of feeling hypertensive and self-conscious a person starts to gain space from their issue and the way they are thinking about their issue. New thought enters their mind carrying with it a brand-new feeling.

Albert Einstein was famed for saying “the same thought that got you into the problem is not the same thought that will get you out of the problem.” Something new needs to be introduced. By milling the problem around over and over again in your mind nothing new is being introduced to the equation. However, when by focusing on the how the human experience is created via thought is prime condition for a new perspective or insight to show up with you. Which is often accompanied with a liter feeling.

We are all born human with our ups and downs, frailties and strengths. When I looked up the word “being” as in human being I was pleasantly surprised to see what I found. “Being; living entity, soul, person, human being” (Thank you Google). By seeing our deeper nature, we gain insight, common sense and a new perspective about who we are and how to deal with our situation.

Thoughts are not real or, our thoughts are a real as we believe them to be. Can you take a thought out of your head? Can you touch thoughts? What is a thought? All thoughts are Divine Energy that has taken form in your mind. When a person starts focusing beyond the content of his/her thinking and starts focusing on the formless nature of thought that person starts becoming more secure and gains more of the self-awareness that you want to see. Therefore, by just talking about your problem alone without focusing on the nature of thought and the human experience a person will feel worse or worn out from their experience.

Comes out, the way best way to address an issue is not necessarily to talk about it at nauseum. But rather, to reflect upon you’re the role of your thinking in exacerbating or creating the problem in your mind.  As well as seeing your struggle in lite of the human condition which allow you to put your mind at ease.